Posted 1 hour ago

vanjalen:

basedpidgeot:

gf: babe come over

me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky

gf: my parents are out

me: image

at what point does a joke die because i think we’ve beaten this horse into the ground with an aluminum bat

Posted 1 hour ago
Posted 1 hour ago

relahvant:

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road

bust ya nut and off ya strut

Posted 1 hour ago

superneutrality:

niggers:

is it really that hard to put “margarine”

SCHRODINGERS BUTTER THOUGH…

Posted 1 hour ago

when you over-hear a joke in someone else’s conversation and accidentally laugh out loud

image

(Source: whimmy-bam)

Posted 1 hour ago
Posted 1 hour ago

michaxl:

you dont like the word breast??? ok we’re having chicken boobs for dinner

(Source: michaxl)

Posted 1 hour ago

castlestark:

I can’t wait until our generation becomes teachers that actually know how to make a video full screen and get the god damn cursor out of the way

Posted 1 hour ago

hemmolifestyle:

relahvant:

codename-lol:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 

are you kidding im going to use all of these

STINKY PICKLE

yogurt slinger

Posted 1 hour ago

fukkkres:

when she ready for round two but you look down and ur meat like

image